Redeemed Tragedy

Well. for the third night in a row I am up at 2 a.m. It's weird that I keep waking at the exact same time! Tonight (or today...whatever) God brought to mind the idea of redeemed tragedy as I was laying awake sleepless.

Let me explain... Melia's life story begins with tragedy. She was born a girl, in a primarily atheist country with a severe heart condition. As a result she was being raised in an orphanage that was tucked away on a dirt road in a far away city. But, here is where the story takes a turn...

All along he was watching out for her and God has used this tragedy to bring about great joy. He purposed this tragedy with redemption in mind. He took an outwardly sad story and already he has brought about great and marvelous things...

The Bible gives us an example...If Moses had not been born a boy in a time when the leaders of the world were trying to kill all the Israelite boys, if he had not been given up by this mother and sent down a river in a basket and raised in a castle would his story have ended with such powerful and meaningful greatness. This child, abandoned as an infant grew to be a powerful leader, wrote a significant part of the Bible and is known for his faith and fortitude. God redeemed tragedy.

I have no idea what all the details of Melia's future story will be, but I do know that because he is graciously redeeming tragedy in her life that Omaha, NE is already experiencing joy it would not otherwise have had. Just yesterday, she brought a beaming smile to an unknown man at the grocery store (and many others we saw), she warmed her grammy's heart walking into her house for the first time and playing with her toys, she made countless kids at our Elementary school giggle and smile just by walking around the classroom. God redeemed tragedy and brought joy to others yesterday through this little life. It might seem minor, but without her life intersecting with mine I would not have had the joy of cuddling, tickling and rocking a precious little one year old that looks me right in the eyes with her gorgeous, deep, dark eyes and calls me mama. Without her in my life, I would never have known I was missing out on the joy that comes from her little life.

I am forever changed because God has reminded me that He is in the business of taking the broken things of this world that look tragic and redeeming them to bring about joy...He is so good!

Getting back to a normal, a new normal

This last week has been downright wonderful! Other than sleep (Melia, Ryan and I are trying hard to readjust to Omaha time) Melia has adapted extremely well into the Horner way of life. My dear friends have been providing me with meals and so I can concentrate on playing and attaching to Melia. We spend our days dancing, singing, playing with stacking blocks and she has even "helped" me with household chores like vacuuming and laundry. She wants to be held a lot, which is a great thing, so sometimes I put her in the sling and we do chores around the house that way. Ryan and I also got to introduce her to our friends at work, friends from school and a few neighbors. She handles all this excitement and change beautifully. Every so often, when I am rocking her and cuddling, I feel that heart of hers beating away. I feel it so prominent on the right side, and I feel for a regular rhythm. I wonder as I keep time with her heart if it is working too hard. I take that time to pray Jesus' name over her life and well-being. We will find out the details of her condition when we meet with the cardiologist toward the end of February. I will post more about her heart at that time. For now, I have to be content knowing Jesus loves this little one more than I ever could. I have to be satisfied that TODAY she is energetic, expressive, eating and sleeping well. TODAY is a blessing. I give thanks that I got to spend time bonding with my baby girl TODAY. Here are some fun pictures from Coming Home and life at home this last week...

Home

We are home and happy!  Melia and I were up at 1:45 a.m. the first night and woke at 3:45 a.m. today.  We are moving in the right direction.  She is an absolute delight!

We were welcomed home with some friends and family at the airport, outdoor decorations provided by my running friends (I really need to get back to excercise), and dinner from my mother-in-law and mom.  It feels so good to be home.

Our good friend, Hannah took lots of photos and when she gets them to us I will post a few but here are few from everyday life since we returned.

Thank you so much for all the prayers while we traveled.

Torn

Well, we only have three days of this trip left and now we are torn.  We really want to get home with our little girl and be together as a family of six.  We are excited to get into a routine, sleep in our own beds and eat our own food. But, we will miss this country, the experiences and adventure.  The process of adoption is unique and wonderful and we will miss it.  So, feeling torn between staying and going we are embracing each moment and grateful for where we are, what we are doing and the experiences we are having.

Ryan and I talked today about our thoughts on adoption.  We truly feel like we would be missing out on the fullness of life had we never decided to adopt.  We can understand a little more fully our relationship to the Heavenly Father because he invited us to adopt two children into our family.  To go from unknown to known, alone to beloved and chosen is exactly what happened to me when I believed in the free gift of salvation.  I no longer have to ever worry about walking through life alone because I am in a family, a forever family.

If you have ever even considered adoption I am begging you to pray into it, open your heart and life up to it and wholeheartedly consider it.  It is not only a gift to a child, but a great and wonderful, life-giving gift to adults and families.  Of course, it is not without heartache.  But, when is fully living life pain free?  On this side of heaven it won't be, but adoption is guaranteed to bless and draw a person closer to the the Lord.  As a Christ follower consider how adoption might be part of your life story.  We are eternally grateful it has been part of ours.

We have met some amazing Christ followers on this trip...

The couple from Georgia who adopted two children to add to their three biological children at home.  One daughter is bright and sunny and full of energy.  She will need a cleft palate repair when they get home.  They had planned to adopt a son as well, but 9 days before travel he died of an acute illness.  In their grief they felt the best way to honor his life was to adopt another life.  China expedited their paperwork and so they are also adopting a little girl with down's syndrome.  What a happy, smiley addition to their family.

Another couple from Omaha is adopting their 10th child, a little 4 year old girl.  They have three biological children and this is their 7th adoption.  We have been priveleged to watch her come out of her shell over the last week.  Last night she was singing and dancing with her mommy.  What a joy!  They have decided that money spent on giving a child a life and getting a more fuller life is much more important than grown-up toys and trips and so they continue to open their hearts and lives to God's leading.

Another couple have two adopted children at home and the wife traveled with a friend to bring home two boys.  Both have limited function in one of their extremities but have adapted to their version of normal remarkably well.  The 3 and 4 year olds can hold cups and feed themselves very well.

We met another couple that have one biological daughter and after a failed adoption from Pakistan were united with their Chinese daughter this week.  She makes a beautiful addition to their family.

As I listen to the giggles and squeals from my dear daughter in the background I feel so blessed to call her mine.

Melia's Sweet Personality...

...thought you might enjoy seeing and hearing our delightful daughter.  She has the most easy-going, fun and affectionate personality.  She loves to snuggle, sing, sway to music and play.  We are so thankful to get to know this sweetheart that we have only seen in pictures for so long.  She is ours!!

Our newest daughter

Wow!  What a journey this has been.  Ryan and I still have a about a week in China but last night the older three kids left us to go home with Nannie and Poppie.  I am happy that they will be able to get back to a routine and sleep in their own beds, but we are already missing them so very much!  Please pray for their journey home.  They took a train to Hong Kong, slept about 4 hours then walked to the airport.  They are waiting right now to board a flight to Tokyo, then it's on to Detroit.  They have an 8 hour layover in Detroit before flying home to Omaha and arriving around 11 p.m.  It has the potential to be pretty rough, so please pray for some supernatural peace for all the kids and their amazing grandparents!

Ryan and I ventured out to a park with Melia last night.  It was very beautiful and had a little restaurant, so we tried it out.  My stomach did not completely agree with that decision, but I'm feeling fine this morning.  We are anxious to bond with our daughter more this week.  She has shown a preference for Ryan which is very sweet. She even calls him Mama sometimes.  I am a little jealous, but she still enjoys me too.  ~smile~

Ryan has elaborated more about the trip on his blog, but I wanted to touch on my feelings about our little girl's heart condition.  I try not to worry about what the future holds, but I have found myself wondering.  I have noticed she sweats easily when sleeping or eating.  Is that a sign of advancing heart disease?  I wonder if I see a faint blue hue around her lips when she runs or cries.  Am I making that up or is it a sign of her heart worsening?  She has a little bit of a congested cough and runny nose.  Is it just a cold or is the cough related to her heart?

Of course, there is nothing I can do about it except hand those concerns over to the Lord and wait until we arrive home for more information from her pediatric cardiologist.  I have listened to her heart and there is a pretty loud murmur, which I expected to hear.

Over the last year I have been trying to train my mind that in everything and at all times I need to give thanks, because thankfulness is life-giving and worry is life-draining.  I haven't been as focused and intentional about thankfulness lately, so I am recommiting my mind and heart to gratitude today.

I am so thankful for...
~a new daughter to love~her eyes when she smiles~the way she will run to both Ryan and I and give us a great big hug~she sleeps through the night without terrors or tears~she likes to be on the go, as a Horner should~watching Hallie care for her and play with her, she is a truly amazing and loving older sister~when she smiles at Jake and he smiles back, excited that she likes him~Zac holding her on his lap and brushing his finger across her cheek with affection~Ryan's affection toward her.  I already thought he was a fantastic dad, but his passion for her takes his daddy status to a new level~Nannie and Poppie being here and loving all of us with acts of love and service~Chinese people staring and admiring our new family~the hospitality of Chinese people~a Chinese Christian shop owner that said, "He has changed my life."~no tears at the doctor visit~new Holt friends~ and on and on and on...

Colossians 3:15  "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace, and be thankful."


Picutures to enjoy...

Introducing Melia...

Tomorrow..

...Tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow.  You're only a day away!!

Tomorrow is Gotcha Day!  Tomorrow I get to hold my baby girl!  Tomorrow she goes from sleeping her nights in an orphanage in Baoding to sleeping with mommy and daddy, brothers and sisters in a 5 star hotel in Shijiazhuang!  

Tomorrow is the fulfillment of a dream for our family!  We will post as soon as we can so you can all share in our family's joy, tomorrow!!

China Day #3

Today we had a meeting about our adoption process with William Chen, went to a Chinese buffet for lunch, toured a silk factory, walked around Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City and crashed at 7:00!  Our days are full and wonderful.  We have appreciated the opportunity to enjoy learning about Melia's birth country, but now we are ready to meet her!

We will meet Melia on the 12th at 9:00 (China time).  Excitement doesn't quite cover the emotions we are feeling.  Check out Ryan's blog for more details...